Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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