Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
