That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
