I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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