Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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