dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
