I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
