I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize