remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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