Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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