Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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