Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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