Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
