I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
