don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
