You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm really busy with my period
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