Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
