i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
