I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
