If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
