Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
