Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
