im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
All I want is dick and wine.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
