the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
