So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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