1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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