meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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