I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I have fence marks all over my body
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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