I just cut my nipple shaving
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can't put those talents on a resume
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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