im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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