do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
