at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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