Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
