ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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