i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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