We're facebook friends in real life
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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