We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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