It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
