I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
