I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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