so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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