You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
