So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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