I cockslap morals
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
