and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
