i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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