I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think people are normalizing furries
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
