I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
