that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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