I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
