He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
