Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Randomize
