chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
