you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize