Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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