oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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