he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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